Keeping reason A In The Loop + Deterioration Of Juse

MOOD: onigiri- sad (Concerned)
Quote Of The Day: “You are such a waste of talent at that shitty job.” -reason A

So I told reason A about the potential job opportunity at Katie’s company and she got super excited. Right now I think we both have a mix of emotions. We’re stressed and upset about my current job situation, that it has come to this and that I’m very short on time in regards to this transition but at the same time we feel a little excited and liberated to see what the future has to hold for me. I feel like the little kid that gets let out the house for the first time to see the sun. I’m reluctant yet curious. I want to tread carefully because I don’t want to be disappointed or hurt.

She told me she can’t wait for the day that I leave, that she can tell for the past 7.5 yrs I’ve worked here that my health, my spirit and my whole being has just deteriorated. She feels like I’m just like the walkin’ dead now. I have no joy or energy to me that people my age should have. She said she knows my job has caused a majority of it. The stress I go through on daily basis with this hell hole, the responsibilities and duties way beyond my compensation that just weigh me down and quite frankly, just suck the life out of me. Its true. That is how I feel. I don’t feel happy or have any joy in life. Work and career is just such a big part of my life. I don’t socialize much so I feel like my job takes up about 90% of my waking time. And when u are unhappy at the one thing that takes up the bulk of your life and time, then it’s really hard to keep in good spirits.

It is time. It really is. I can’t, and don’t want to continue to live this miserably. I’m not even greedy. I don’t hope to find a job that I am totally in love with although that would be nice. I’m not saying I want to be one of those happy-go-lucky people who wake up in the morning and scream “I love my job!!” I just want to be in a non-hostile work environment. I don’t think that’s too hard to find. Hopefully I will find it.


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