Heart To Heart With Le Hubby

MOOD:   (Ok, What?)
Quote Of The Day: It’s not that you don’t value them til they’re gone, it’s just that you never thought they’d leave.” -UK

Yesterday I had a heart to heart with Kenny. I hate bringing up this subject because it’s a difficult thing to talk about. But we do pride ourselves on our great communication and how we talk about everything. I never tell him everything regarding reason A, just enough to give him the idea of what my concern is. Because reason A’s words are often times very hurtful, I would never wish for him to experience any of that, so it’s almost like my way of protecting him. Now whether this is a good or bad decision will really just have to play out on its own in the future, but this is what I’ve decided on, and I’m sticking to it.

I didn’t want to pressure him to hurry up and find a job, and right before we started the convo, he did mention that he should have some interviews lined up soon, but it was a cause of a lot of the stress, because we’ve decided to halt the ring shopping til he starts the new job, and I’ve kept this part a secret from reason A. So reason A’s thing is, if he proposed to you in August, why is it mid October, and the damn boy still hasn’t bought the ring yet?? Is he just jackin’ with you and you’re stupid enough to believe it??

To that part, I didn’t really have a response, because as crazy as her ass is, she did have a valid point. I was starting to get frustrated too, although I do give him the benefit of the doubt and believe that he’s not purposely prolonging the process, it’s just that “shit happens”. >_> I wonder if I just seem like a “gold digger” to him for bringing up this “ring” thing on so many occasions, but the damn boy doesn’t understand what it symbolizes and means!! It is a public statement that I am off the market!! I am completely committed! If you ask me right now, I don’t feel that sense of security. Call me immature, materialist, whatever the hell you want, but that’s how I feel, and that’s most definitely how reason A sees it. This part also frustrates me, I don’t know if I’m making a big deal out of it cuz I grew up in the States, and the “ring” is very symbolic or if I’m getting all dramatic with it cuz reason A keeps harassing me about it! Ugh!!

Anyways, so without saying too much, I simply told Kenny that me and reason A had a discussion and it was about the progression of our relationship and I ended up very upset. I also told him one of my favorite quotes. “It’s not that you don’t value them til they’re gone, it’s just that you never thought they’d leave.” Which is the damn truth!!  He’s a smart guy. I think he got the point. He said that he doesn’t want to lose me and he’ll do everything in his power do “what’s right”. Ugh. Whatever in the hell that’s supposed to mean. Men and their damn ambiguity. I just wanna shoot them all sometimes. -__-;;

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