Garlic Can Save Your Life And Kill Your Marriage

MOOD: (Lol)
Quote Of The Day: “Honey, quick… Eat you some garlic. >_>” -Kenny

You know what?? I know I say this a lot, which now that I stop to think about it; it can’t be a good thing, but me and Kenny are idiots. @___@;; Like really, this is how you identify if they are your true soul mate. One, they entertain your stupid questions with a sincere answer. Two, they know you are an idiot, and don’t mind being seen in public with you. Three, they are eager and will join in any idiocracy with you without hesitation. Four, when people look at the both of you weird, cuz you are two idiots in dialogue; he will give them the side eye. >_> Ahahaha!!! This describes Kenny down to a tee. Harhar!

Today Kenny’s internet was acting up. While I was talkin’ to Kenny online, I was also on the Domino’s Facebook website trying to win a pizza. I actually won 2 yesterday. One under my Facebook, and Kenny won me one on his. They are again doing pizza giveaways. This is the second batch. Last time they did it about 2 weeks ago, I got two pizzas. It was all kinds of awesome, although I hate Domino’s pizza which I apparently feel the need to voice every time their name comes up. >_> They should officially change their name to “Domino’s: The Pizza That I Don’t Like”. *FAILS*

It was late in the night for him, and here I am talkin’ about pizza nonstop cuz I’m trying to win them again (just me being greedy cuz you can only win one per person anyways) and so I sent him pics of the pizza and wings I had last time. The first time I had a Chicken and Bacon Carbonara pizza with Honey BBQ wings, and second time around I had Italian Sausage and Pepper Trio pizza with Garlic Parmesan wings. That is how the whole “garlic” topic started. Now to backtrack, over the weekend when me and Kenny were talkin’ on the phone, my nose started to get stopped up. This happens often, not cuz I have allergies or anything but I have a really sensitive nose, and a narrow nasal passage. So any bit of dust or dramatic weather change causes me to get stopped up. Kenny told me to get out of bed and walk around a little and my nose should be better. I told him that when I was a kid, reason A had read in some newspaper article that garlic cures stuffy noses. So one day when I had a stuffy nose, she came at me with two cloves are garlic and was determined to stick them up my nose! My reaction? Literally went like this: O_O, then “Oh hell naw!!”, then ran for dear life!! Ahaha! reason A chased me around the room trying to stick them up my nose!! She said the article said that it works like a charm!! I, am NOT a garlic fan. I can tell you that. My extent of garlic tolerance basically stops at garlic bread. And that’s on a good day. I don’t ever eat garlic flavored stuff either like wings. But I got them last time cuz reason A can’t eat wings with sauce on them. So we had to try and get something more on the “dry” side. So Kenny was cracking up about it.

Reason A loves her some garlic. She said its healthy and helps in cancer prevention. And reason A is ALL about some cancer prevention. I kid you not, her life goals only consists of two things; keeping me away from society and cancer prevention.

So anyways, today me and Kenny had like 2 convos regarding this phenom known as “garlic”. When I am upset or stressed, I tell people I want to go to Africa. That’ll be on the status bar on my messenger. That’s how Kenny knows, uh oh; something is wrong. The reason I say that is cuz I always imagine Africa as the great green plains, where you can roam free without worries of the more developed world. Bills, drama, etc. Its some place where there is less pollution, and less bullshit. Of course I do not take into consideration starvation because I assume that I can spear fish. >_> *FAILS* So after spending a long time cheering me up. Kenny asked me if I still wanted to go to Africa. I told him no. But I also told him that I had a revelation last night and it occurred to me that it doesn’t matter when I want to go to Africa, I still have to take him. There are two reasons. One, because I love him too much to leave him behind and I don’t ever wanna get separated from him ever again, and two; I can spear fish, but don’t know how to cook, so I need him to cook it. >_> *EPIC FAILS* He was like, “Its nice to know that you put the love for me and the need to cook fish in the same category. Thanks babe.” Ahaha!! So we had a convo like this:

Kenny: Well you know I can protect you cuz I’m so dark I’ll look like I blend in. >_>
Me: I know right?? The tribal people will be like where the heck did you get you a pale girl and she’s chubby too!! I want one!!
Kenny: Lol.
Me: But that can’t be good. They’ll try to kidnap me!! O_O (*Hides behind you)
Kenny: O_O…
Me: What?
Kenny: I have a solution…
Me: Ok, what is it??
Kenny: Honey, quick… Eat you some garlic. >_>
Me: ROFLMAO!!! You are a freakin’ genius!! XD
Kenny: Then go up and greet them, talkin’ very slowly with a hiss. Hellllllllllllo thhhhheerre!!
Me: Lol!! OMG! And they’ll all get knocked out by the fumes!! Ahaha.
Kenny: Your Hubby will get knocked out too. @___@;; You know I hate garlic. >_>
Me: Oh no!! It’s ok Baby, I’ll give you CPR!!
Me: Ahahaha!!
Kenny: Honey, you are NOT allowed to eat garlic when we’re together. Do you hear me??
Me: But… But you know reason A loves it! It’s hard to avoid it!
Kenny: Momma is welcome to eat it. You are NOT allowed to eat it!
Me: That’s true I guess. Considering you have to be in closer proximity to me. When we all go to bed, and I wake up the next morning, you and Mr. Teddy will probably both be passed out from the fumes.
Kenny: If you dare to eat garlic and come to bed with me, I swear to God, after you fall asleep, I’ll stick cloves of garlic up your nose!! >_<
Me: OMFG!! Oh no you didn’t!!
Kenny: Yes I will!! Don’t make me do it!!
Me: Honey… You can’t do that. And its not even cuz I’m scared, its cuz I don’t want you to injure yourself!! It’s not a plausible plan!! You know why??
Kenny: Why?
Me: Cuz Just imagine. When you stick cloves of garlic up my nose, its bound to tickle right?? When it tickles I’ll itch and want to sneeze!! The sneeze will be so strong that the garlic cloves will shoot out my nose!! Then you’ll be finally trying to get some sleep and yawn cuz you’re so tired and the garlic will go straight into your mouth!! OMG!! Can you just imagine?? Then I’ll have to save your life!!
Kenny: O_O Oh f@ck…
Me: And that’s not even the worst part!! The worst part is that at least I get fresh garlic up my nose, where as the garlic you just ingested is um… er… SALTY. O_O Ahahahahaha… (Cuz snot is salty… >_> Do not ask me how I know this. I was once a kid ok?? >_>)
Kenny: O_O… Ewwwwwwwwwwww…
Kenny: Ewwww some more. >_>

Ahahaha!! Now tell me we are not a pair of idiots!! Lol.


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