Chafing Vajayjay, Assholes, And One Tomato. O_O

MOOD: (High)
Quote Of The Day: “Bill would have told Jesus, he didn’t have to die. He should have negotiated that.” -Oranjuse

I just wanna start off with an apology. I am highly drugged up right now, so if I say some random or hostile shit, it’s because I’m high. I just wanna let ya’ll know that up front. >_> reason A has a cold, and I think I caught something too. This damn psycho weather we got going on has me in a damn bikini one day, and a sweater the next. Ok, maybe not that extreme; but I am contemplating about wearing a hoodie and going booty ass naked to work to cooperate with the weather. >_> But the wind is way too strong for that right now. I don’t know how I would feel about having a chafing vajayjay. >_> I know Kenny won’t be a fan. #yeahimhigh


For lunch today I had a tomato. Yes you heard me right, a tomato. Not with any seasoning or dressing, and it wasn’t even cut up. Just one plain tomato; whole. I was gnawing on it like a hardcore farmer who is checking his crops for ripeness before he sends it into the local market. I do have to admit, it is hard to brush off the stares of co-workers as I’m sitting at my desk eating my tomato like it’s an apple, simply because tomatoes are too juicy. What kind of person would I be to expect no reaction out of the co-worker who just got squirted in the eyeball by my tomato juice when I bit in? My only request is that you don’t comment about it. >_>

Me: (Biting into my tomato)
Co-Worker: (Stares at me) >_>
Me: (Sees co-worker from corner of eye, and continues to eat my juicy tomato)
Co-Worker: So… do you eat whatever is in season? O_O
Me: (Continue to chew slowly, then turn to look at her) >_> (Then continue to eat my juicy tomato)
Co-Worker: Corn will be in season next week. Are you gonna bust out with an ear of corn?
Me: (Chokes on my tomato) (Turns to look at co-worker)
Co-Worker: (Stares at me)
Me: How about I stick an ear of corn so high up your ass that I can harvest popcorn through your makeshift mouth that really is just another asshole? >_>
Co-Worker: O_O


Did I mention that I was high right now? Yeah… >_>

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