Who Said Only Mondays Were Gloomy?

MOOD: (Depressed)
Quote Of The Day: “Don’t choose a person you simply want to be with. Choose someone you simply cannot be without.” -RFT

So I thought about what I should write about today. After letting it marinate for a while, I decided that I need to repent. But before that, let’s get some daily stuff out the way. One, I am still sick. I am recovering, but the fact that my womanly “duties” decided to come on this week, is not helping the situation. Yes I basically just told everyone when my period comes. So now in addition to my sore muscles and pain, and loss of appetite, I am also bloated and cramping. FML. But how about not only am I sick, Kenny is sick too. T___T;;  Yes, as ghetto as it may sound, usually when I get sick, somehow he ends up getting sick at the same time. It’s the weirdest thing and no, it’s not romantic. Lol. He already took some meds, but he said he could feel a sore throat setting in too. Although they don’t have as much pollen where he is, but Spring is the reason for blooming, not only for plants and flowers but also for germs. Eww. And working in an office environment, when one person gets sick it spreads kinda quick. I think someone in his office has the sniffles so he got sick today. When he called to wake me up this morning, he wasn’t sounding so great. He sounded worn out. I told him to just go straight to bed and not get online. It was obvious he needed some sleep.

Yesterday afternoon since I had a few moments to myself, I thought about what kind of person I am. Will I be a good spouse? Am I a good GF? My conclusion is complicated. I think I am basically a perfect GF if the other person is a perfect BF. If they stray a little, then I will stray A LOT. Being the female leo that I am, I crave attention. Unfortunately, I hold very true to my astrological description. I am a fire sign, and show all the passion in what I do, as long as I put forth effort, but at the same time, the “fieriness” of me, can also burn someone, or even myself sometimes. I constantly remind myself of what I should and shouldn’t be doing, and how not to veer off trail, but I find my curiosity getting the best of me sometimes. But that scares me, because doesn’t the saying go, “Curiosity killed the cat?”

I want to engulf myself in my happiness, knowing that although I don’t have everything that I want, if I am meant to have it, it will eventually come. I have the essentials, and I also have something, it takes some people a lifetime to find. My soulmate. Sometimes I find myself smiling for no reason, cuz my mind is flooded with images or thoughts of the better parts, but often times I find myself worrying or wondering about the future. I feel in the past 6 months, my emotions are more fragile. They’ve always been dramatic and all over the place, but I am less at ease. I can’t tell if its because I am coming to realize the seriousness of everything, or that its always been like this, I have just chosen to neglect the feelings in the past.

Missing someone is hard. I don’t know how many of you can truly feel what I do, or empathize with me. It’s honestly something I don’t wish others have to experience. “Longing” is basically just a slow death if you ask me. But then again, I’m not sure if I’d rather die a faster one.


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