99 Problems, And The B!tch Is One!

Quote Of The Day: “I wanna smack her.” -Intern Jon

Lots of shit to talk about today so let’s get started.  Yesterday my computer at work was acting up. For some damn reason, after it did a Windows update, I couldn’t see my printer or any printers networked to my computer anymore. Not only that, I also couldn’t open up some software. WTF was going on?? Ugh!! I’m having like the worst luck ever with computers these days. Finally I decided to restore the computer to how it was 4 days ago before the update, and then suddenly everything started working again. Thank you Lord Jesus!! But I got happy too soon cuz after I got home, my computer at home died after being very good to me for 5 days. #fmlagain X___X;;

Yesterday was a super crucial day for me at work cuz my damn internet at work kept dying. That meant that me and Kenny’s convos were getting interrupted every five freakin’ minutes!! So damn frustrating, arg!! I hate when our “quality time” which is actually my work time gets interrupted! The bad part is I get upset when I have to do real work while we are chatting too, even though I know I’m at work, WTF. >_> Then after the internet got fixed, I was having the printer problem. Finally it’s time to get off work, and I let out a sigh of relief, only to find myself getting off of 285 fast, but being stuck in traffic on Buford Hwy. Nooooz!!! I HATE getting stuck in traffic on Buford Hwy, cuz I feel like I’m so freakin’ close to home! Traffic should only be allowed on the freeway and not on local roads. I don’t get how that happens!! It took me over a freakin’ hour to drive like 8 miles! WTF!! Granted I was on the phone with Unnie the whole time so I wasn’t THAT bored, but still!! I don’t think I have a big road rage problem, but at times when I’m stuck in traffic like that I can’t help but curse a lot, sigh heavily, and have the urge to give the international hand gesture for F U. >_> Though I am way too timid to actually do that, in fear for my little Asian life. >_< So then I get home only to find my computer has died again, and there’s no way to revive it so I have to reinstall the whole damn thing again. Auhhh!!! #uptheasswithnojelly

All that aside, I think the stress is starting to make me eat more. Great, another addition to my problems is like an extra 5lbs to go with that. Blah! #stresswithasideoffat I’ve been eating like a damn pig for the past few days!! What in the world?? I’ve been eating random fast food every single day. This is not good on so many levels. I can’t tell if I’m eating cuz I’m really that starving or cuz I’m so frustrated I need to eat!! The long drives home are not helping me either. I get really hungry during that time, and it’s harder to control myself when food is staring at me in the face. #teamfries Ugh. I gotta carry around a damn carrot or something . >_>

This morning I spent the whole morning venting and complaining to Kenny about my retarded intern. Yes we are talkin’ about the same retarded girl in my last post about being nosey. Today she gets a name, and I no longer call her Generic Intern Girl Day # (insert how many days she’s been here). So Intern Emily is literally the slowest damn girl I have ever seen in my life. I have a lot of friends that have blonde moments, but this girl is like a damn dodo bird!! She’s more than just a few fries short of a happy meal. The girl is SLOW. Like S-L-O-W!! I hate complaining to Kenny about my interns cuz I complain about every damn intern. He must think I am the most difficult person to work with EVER. But it’s really not me, it’s really them. #stopgivingmethatlook Like I said on my Facebook. I speak Chinese, I speak English, I even speak Korean, but I DO NOT speak Dumbass. >_> Usually Kenny takes the side of the interns, and tells me that since they’re newbies I have to not be so expectant of them. They’re young, clueless and that’s normal. But today, he couldn’t do anything but laugh. #itwasthatbad So I started telling him some of the retarded stuff she did. Like how when we first met, she asked to see his picture. #stillawtfmomentforme And recently, there has been 2 more moments.

Retarded Intern Emily Example 1:
So last week we got some silk flowers from a client. She brought over the flower arrangement for our office. It was a vase of tulips. Personally I can tell they are fake cuz they were in a glass vase, but didn’t have water in the vase. Obviously real flowers need water right? So that should tell you right there that they are fake flowers. Fine, you’re slow, so you don’t realize. Intern Emily didn’t notice the flowers until this week, although they are sitting right in the middle of the room. So this week when she finally saw the flowers, she went up to it. Now please forgive me for using logic of a normal person, with average IQ, but usually when we are examining flowers and we don’t know if they are real or not what do we do? First, we look at it with the naked eye. Many times, we can tell just by looking at it, if the flowers are real or fake. Fine, if that test fails, what do we usually do next? I don’t know about ya’ll, but the next thing I would do is touch it. If you can’t tell the difference between fabric or plastic flowers verses real ones by touch, then we have other problems to worry about. But this home girl right here, in all her slow glory decides to skip all that and go straight to “smelling” it. O____O;; Then she has the audacity to come back to me and say this, and I quote: “Who gave us those useless flowers? They don’t even smell good!” I stop what I’m doing, put my pen down, and look up at her. I stare at her to make sure she doesn’t have a smirk on her face, like she’s joking, and I didn’t know what to think cuz this girl was damn serious about her question. I was like WTFDUJS? (What The F@ck Did You Just Say?) I said, “Girl, those flowers are fake. Now why in the world would you think they are real? They look fake, they feel fake!” At that time I didn’t know she didn’t take a close look or feel them. Then she replied “Oh, no wonder, cuz I just smelled them and they didn’t smell like anything.” *FAILS THE WHOLE FEMALE POPULATION* X_____X;;*

Retarded Intern Emily Example 2:
Last Friday when we were leaving. I got in my car first. Intern Emily came out after me, and proceeded to try and open the car door of the car next to me. I waited for her to get in the car so I could back out of the spot without side whacking her since the parking was tight. Intern Emily has a white Toyota Camry. (*Sidenote here: My intern Jon has a white BMW) So after like a 10 minute struggle. I look in the rear view mirror thinking to myself, what is the hold up?? I see her there struggling to get the door open, and then suddenly she said “Oh no!!” And then I see her walk around the space, behind the car, and around to the “other white car” that was parked next to this white car. Now I stop and think to myself. Did this damn fool just stand there with her key, trying to open Intern Jon’s car? Yes she just damn did. One, I’m mad you have no clue where you parked this morning. Two, I am mad you mistook a BMW for your Toyota Camry. Three, I am mad it took you 10 minutes to figure out that you were essentially trying to “break into” someone else’s car with your key. WTF just happened here?? Tell me my ass did not just witness the hot mess that just happened??

Kenny was rolling by this point. He said “poor girl”. No baby!! Not “poor girl” it should be “poor Juse” for having to put up with this shit!! You know there’s that song, “How Low Can You Go?” Well her theme song is “How Slow Can You Go?” All I could do was just shake my head. Everyone in the damn company wants to pet her. Kenny said just use her as your source of entertainment at work. But I can’t even do that cuz I’m constantly in a state of shock! I was complaining to Kenny, cuz when we go on this business trip next month, me and her have to share a room. Oh noooooz!!! #ratherbestabbedinmybuttocks I don’t want to room with her!! But since she is the only other female, and times are rough, they have decided it would be more economical to put us in the same room. Auhhhh!!! How am I suppose to call reason A, how am I suppose to call Kenny at night?? Her nosey ass will be all up in my business, and since we will not be on company property, I cannot promise that I can control my temper and not bite her head off!! Kenny said “This is a test for you Honey.” Yes it is a test!! Its to test my damn patience!! Not to see how long I can deal with her, but to see how many minutes I can last before I pimp slap the dumb out her head! She is slow as a mofo!! Ugh!! #whyme


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